From Survivor to Thriver

It’s hard to find the right words to describe what it’s like to survive domestic violence. The fear, uncertainty, and overwhelming sense of powerlessness can feel like the walls are closing in, leaving no way out. I lived in that darkness for a long time. But today, as I reflect on my journey, I am filled with gratitude for my survival and a deep sense of pride for the strength it took to get here.

The Silent Battle

When you’re in an abusive relationship, it feels like you’re constantly battling a storm—one that rages not only around you but inside you as well. The person who once seemed to love and protect you becomes a source of pain and fear. Over time, that fear seeps into every part of your life, making it harder to imagine a world where you could be free. For me, the most challenging part wasn’t just the physical pain; it was the emotional toll. I questioned everything about myself—my worth, my decisions, and even my ability to trust my instincts.

But the truth is, domestic violence isn’t just about physical wounds. The invisible scars—the self-doubt, the shame, the guilt—linger long after the bruises have faded. I often wondered if I’d ever feel “normal” again or if I’d ever be able to trust myself and others.

Breaking Free

Leaving an abusive relationship is one of the most complex decisions a person can make. It wasn’t as simple as just walking out the door. Fear of the unknown, fear of retaliation, and fear of being alone all kept me stuck. But deep down, I knew that staying would only mean losing more of myself. I was tired of living in fear and wanted more from life—not just for myself, but for those who love and care about me.

The day I decided to leave was my life's scariest and most empowering day. I remember the weight that lifted off my shoulders as I took that first step toward freedom, even though I had no idea what was waiting for me on the other side. There were days when I doubted myself and wondered if I had made the right choice, but ultimately, I knew I had saved my life.

The Healing Process

Healing is not a straight path. Some days are better than others, and that’s okay. There were times when I felt strong and hopeful, and then there were days when I felt fragile like I could fall apart at any moment. What I’ve learned, though, is that healing isn’t about being perfect or “moving on” in a linear way. It’s about permitting yourself to feel, grieve, and rebuild at your own pace.

Therapy was a huge part of my healing. It helped me understand that what happened to me wasn’t my fault and that I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. I also learned how to set boundaries, trust my instincts, and, most importantly, love myself again. Surrounding myself with supportive friends and family who believed in me was a gift I will never take for granted.

Becoming a Thriver

Today, I am more than just a survivor. I am a thriver. The experience of domestic violence didn’t define me—it shaped me. It taught me how resilient I am and how deeply I can love and protect myself. It also ignited a passion in me to help others in similar situations. Whether it’s sharing my story, offering a listening ear, or pointing someone toward resources that can help, I now see it as part of my purpose as a source of hope and light for others struggling.

I won’t lie—there are still moments when fear creeps in, memories surface, and I feel vulnerable. But those moments no longer control me. I’ve learned how to face them, how to breathe through them, and how to remind myself that I am safe, I am worthy, and I am loved.

For Those Still in the Darkness

If you’re reading this and still in the darkness, I want you to know something: You are not alone. You are not weak for staying and are not at fault for what’s happening to you. Leaving an abusive relationship is hard, but staying in one does not define your strength. You are vital simply for surviving; when you are ready, you will find a way out.

Some people will support you, believe you, and stand by you as you take that first step toward freedom. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, a counselor, or a domestic violence support group—help is out there. Reaching out for support can be the first step toward reclaiming your life, just as it was for me.

My Message of Hope

Surviving domestic violence is not the end of your story. It’s the beginning of a new chapter that you get to write for yourself. It may not always be easy, but every step you take is an act of courage. Healing is possible, and happiness is within reach. You deserve to live in peace, to be loved, and to feel safe in your skin.

To all survivors out there: I see you, believe in you and stand with you. Our past does not define us, but by the strength we find within ourselves to rise above it.

You are more than a survivor—you are a warrior, and your story matters.